by Focus
© 1999 Focus, all rights reserved
New responsibilities, once his, now mine
Mean new experiences:
Climbing metal ladder, slowly, carefully,
Me shaking more than the ladder.
Sweeping leaves off the roof, off the heights I fear.
Sawing wood - with a chain saw, yet -
So macho! That's me? Now it is.
Buying a weedwhacker to replace
The whacker he never did repair...
And took somewhere I cannot find.
Learning about saws, the muscle-power kind
Using one of those, sawdust flies! Smell of cedar.
Taking the car to be repaired, talking with
Joe
About brakes and hubcap locks and things I
Don't know the name of - engine things
Made of hard metal, slick with oil.
Strangely shaped little pieces of auto that cost $200.
Each.
Phoning the money store, talking refinance
Debt consolidation, insurance, points.
Making decisions - that feels good.
Spending my money, without worrying about whether he
Has spent it first, not telling me, so checks bounce.
Wondering, daily, if I can handle this.
Somehow, so far, doing okay.